The Life I Never Wanted
by moonseeker0609
Summary: ONE-SHOT! The story of Lavender Brown and Seamus Finnigan through Lavender's eyes. Sorry about the bad summary XD


The Life I Never Wanted

If someone had told me, that I Lavender Brown would marry Seamus Finnigan, I would have laughed in your face. Not even attractive laughing, rolling on the floor, snot down my face, tears in my eyes, laughing at you. Never would I marry a boy whom no one could even understand, with his 'me lassies' and his 'wee little trousers'. Don't ask me what the heck he meant by those phrases but, I avoided the little leprechaun every chance I got in Hogwarts. But then something happened, something I could never change, and for a while had wished I could take back.

We had just finished the battle, I had been attacked by Fenrir Greyback and I thought for sure that this was the end. But then, I heard the low timbre of his voice, cooing to me, telling me I'll be alright. And I believed him. He carried me; Seamus did, all the way to Madame Pomfrey on the other side of the castle. The whole time he was gentle, sweet, his accent actually soothing in my dazed state, the very state that I had acquired due to blood loss. And then darkness hit me like a ton of bricks, and I struggled to hold on, I could hear murmurs, words, sentences, but they were lost in the darkness that had enveloped me.

I awoke later, and I had won. I had defeated the darkness, I was back into the light of life, and no one could wipe the smile off my face…until I looked into the mirror. The scars would never be able to be removed, they told me, that they were a testament to my strength, others whispered, but to me, they were my nightmares reincarnated. Proof that I, Lavender Brown, was no longer the girl that had lusted after Ron Weasley, had gossiped with the Patil Twins. No, I was now, Lavender Brown, the girl who had been attacked by a werewolf, the girl who had fought death and was triumphant. I wasn't sure who I was anymore, and that scared me more than anything.

I had always been sure of myself, known who I was been confident in myself and my appearance. But now, I was shy, nervous, and lost. I was certain no one would ever lust after me anymore; no man would want to marry a girl with scars covering over half her body. Hell, I wasn't even sure I could still have children. My dream of a husband, of children, taken from me in one attack, one war, and that was my casualty. Sure I had known others who had died, students from Hogwarts, but none too close, none I knew very well, none of my close friends and families. No, my grief was for my destroyed dreams. I felt broken, they tried to understand, but they never would, no one could understand.

The moment I was released from St. Mungos, I bee-lined for a pub, to drink away my sorrows, I quickly found myself at The Leaky Cauldron, and slumped into a stool. I ordered shot after shot, trying to drown my misery, the grief that had consumed me. I tried to avoid my reflection, of fear of what I would see, who I would see. But, he was there, Seamus, and that surprised me, apparently Dean Thomas had died in the heat of the battle, his best friend, I knew. I wasn't sure what made me do it, but I found that I was walking towards him, and I sat next to him. We gave each other a weary look, checking the other out, gauging each other's reactions. He sighed and took his shot, and we soon drank together in silence.

I don't know what happened that night, because after that I blanked out, and apparently he did too. But, the next morning, I awoke in his bed. I panicked, I fled, but a week later when my stomach was literally throwing up everything I tried to put into it, I realized. I was pregnant, and the only person's it could possibly belong to…was him.

I told him a few days later, and to my surprise, he wasn't upset but, he wasn't elated either. It was more of a solemn acceptance and he assured me that he would fix this. I hadn't known what he had meant at the time but two days later he proposed, begging me to try and make this work for the child that was now growing in my belly. I accepted, which surprised both of us, and we eloped.

About seven months later, I gave birth to twins, a boy and a girl. And again, Seamus Finnigan surprised me; we actually didn't fight over the name of our children. Our son, Aidan Seamus Finnigan, and our daughter, Darcy Fionna Finnigan, were the two most beautiful sights I had ever laid my eyes on. And then something changed, I looked at Seamus and it felt different. I saw things in him, I didn't see before, before when I was pregnant, before at Hogwarts. He was kind, attentive, sweet, and instead of finding his accent annoying, it had become endearing, a melody to my ears.

And before I knew it, it hit me like a ton of bricks; I was in love with Seamus Finnigan. Seamus returned my love with vigor, and I'd never been happier. I found myself, I was Lavender Finnigan, the mother of four, Seamus and I had two more children after our twins, and a wife, things that I had thought were lost. I had a husband he lusted after me, and children who I adored. Seamus found my scars beautiful, and I found myself asking him if I looked fat, just to hear him sigh and go into the long rant that I had come to love. The rant that told me that I would always be beautiful in his eyes, and would never be alone.

The life I never wanted became the life I would never dream of changing.

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><p><strong>Ok so What did you think? Was it ok? I'm not usually one for writing one-shots but, this one had been begging to be written.<strong>

**Reveiw Please! XD**


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